England is not a bad cricket team. They are a good cricket team that can be an exciting cricket team at times. They are also a stubborn, maddening, slow-learning cricket team.
Many of the worst and most painful defeats since Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum took over have been self-inflicted.
In Wellington in 2023, England made New Zealand follow suit and lost. In the Ashes of the same year, England declared on the first day at Edgbaston and then benefited from Nathan Lyon limping off Lord’s. They lost both.
The following year, in India, in Rajkot: 224-2 against 445, with Ravichandran Ashwin out of the match to attend to a family emergency. England lost. In July this year, England needed 73 more to make a record against India at The Oval with Harry Brook and Joe Root at the crease scoring hundreds. England lost.
It’s great that the Bazballers have form for back-to-the-wall chases, but it’s just as great to win from a position of dominance. Stokes often says he doesn’t like the word “ruthless.” Maybe it’s because his team isn’t.
The most infuriating part of this defeat is what it could have done to Australia.
The Western Australian newspaper harangued England through Perth airport, calling them whiny, arrogant and conceited. It only took a tough performance from Australia on the first day for Western Australia to turn on them.
Lyon was limping again. There were rumors that Australia had picked the wrong team. The knives were ready for Usman Khawaja and his dubious back. Now Khawaja is a national hero for allowing Head to open the batting.
Stand-in captain Steve Smith could have been asked why he had rehearsed a monologue about Monty Panesar’s appearance on Mastermind. Instead, he sat at the post-match press conference like a winning captain, literally patting Head on the back. It had echoes of eight years ago in Brisbane, when Smith and Cameron Bancroft laughed over the Jonny Bairstow headbutt incident.
Now Australia goes to the second Test in Brisbane, which is played in a day-night format and almost never loses. The hosts have the luxury of not rushing Pat Cummins’ return.
Mitchell Starc, with 10 wickets in Perth, has magical skills with the pink ball that Harry Potter would be proud of.
Where will England go from here? They were beaten so quickly in Perth that they had time to fly home, have a week off and then fly back to Brisbane for a round of golf and the second test.
Australia defeated England twice in 67.3 overs in Perth. Not since 1904 had England survived so few deliveries to lose a Test.
Listening to Stokes and McCullum, it seems one place most of the Ashes squad won’t be going is Canberra for a two-day pink ball match between the England Lions and the Prime Minister’s XI next weekend. England will rest in Brisbane.
The opportunity to tune in under the lights will be greatly exploited in the name of unity and morale. England only have one training session under lights in Brisbane.
It would not be a surprise if England fielded the same XI in the second Test. The batsmen will be backed and the five-pronged attack looked for something in the first innings in Perth.
